So Your Son or Daughter is Gay…

The fact that you’re here shows that you are not a bad parent. A truly bad parent is one that disowns their child for being gay. But you still love them enough to seek answers. And those answers I’ll give! But first, three important points: You have NOT failed as a parent. You’ve raised your […]

So Your Son or Daughter is Gay…

Parents read this!

This is an article I feel every parent should read whether their kids are gay or straight.

My parents fucked up when I came out in 2005 by first of all giving me their religious opinion (the “you’re going to hell” bullshit – and it’s bullshit because unless you have died, saw something and came back to tell it, which noone ever has – then it’s bullshit based off what someone told you, or forced you to read, and YOU chose to believe it), and second, advising me that they don’t want to know about my “lifestyle” as they put it…

… All the while forgetting my lifestyle includes every goddamn thing about me including birth, being dragged to Alabama, putting up with their bullshit growing up, putting up with the “normal” (who the fuck is normal?) straight society bullshit (thanks to some very respectable straight friends though who stick by me and put up with my shit… ya’ll know who you are and I love you for it), working my whole damn life to support myself with rarely asking for help, building businesses (ok none that’s made me a millionaire yet – still working on that), writing and publishing, traveling, serving in the military, and watching them for years coddle their kids that had kids, but rarely if ever made a wellness check to see how this one was living, except under some emergency. Don’t get me wrong, I’m greatful for their help if I ever have to ask for it, but to be honest, emergencies shouldn’t be the only reasons parents decide to check on “that other one” that won’t increase the family tree biologically.

My parents don’t know a lot of incredible things I’ve done and learned… and they never will… because they chose not to… and because I don’t feel I owe them any references to my experiences.

I love my parents and honestly am fortunate to not have been completely turned away by them (parents like that are the ones going to hell if it exists in my opinion, and I’m truly empathetic to anyone who has shitty parents like that), but don’t think for one minute that since 2005 I have wasted a lot of time pandering to my parents otherwise bullshit about showing half-ass interest in my life.

I don’t go visit them unless I really have to for the simple fact that I know if I was seeing someone, my partner would not be accepted or welcomed in their bigot house.

They make those choices, but I did not choose to be gay. I do however choose to be happy on my own, even if that includes excluding myself from parental favoritism, bigotry, and the developed awkwardness of acting happy in their presence.

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